simplysassy

I've moved!

2006-03-22T10:31:00.000-05:00

Very important announcement:

simplysassy has moved to here. Please reset your bookmarks. Keep on reading!

Thanks!

NyQuil is lovely

2006-03-20T09:48:00.000-05:00

Is it weird that last night I had a dream I met Sadam Hussain and he wanted to be my best friend and sent me 3 little puppies to tell me how much he wanted to be my best friend?

After much consideration

2006-03-17T08:55:00.000-05:00

When I blog, I write about real things; things that happen to me every day in my life, good things and bad things. However, some of my recent posts I think have become a little, for lack of a better word, inappropriate.

I'm not going to write about my job anymore. No bad details. There will still be funny stories, so don't worry if you like them. After a few "I can't believe you said that"s and "what if she reads this"s I don't think I'm going to write about the Lesbian anymore.

But you will be the first to know if I get fired/ quit my job/can't take the shit anymore/finally grow some balls to stick up for myself.

Apparently

2006-03-16T11:42:00.000-05:00

The link that I posted for my Relay for Life page is not the real link. Hopefully this link will bring you to my donation page.

Sorry!

Dear Readers

2006-03-15T14:05:00.000-05:00

All of our lives have been touched by at least one person who is struggling with their fight against cancer. This is a fight that they cannot do alone. Because this is something I feel very strongly about I have decided to take part in the Relay for Life at UConn in April. I'm so excited about doing this because it's something that I've been wanting to do for so many years.

I want to raise as much money as possible to donate to the American Cancer Society and I can't do that without your help. Many of you, myself included, don't have that much money but I am asking you to please donate whatever you can; even the smallest amounts all add up to make a difference.

Thank you in advance for all of your help!

Click here to visit my donation page.

Oh, child

2006-03-15T11:41:00.000-05:00

The other day I was helping Tori study for her social studies test. This particular test was on a unit called "Our Country" like what it means to be a citizen, the president, fun stuff like that. Seeing as how this is the second grade we're talking about, she had quite a word list to define:

citizen, symbol, ballot, vote, celebrate, the Statue of Liberty

Despite being taken aback by how much information she had to know for this test, she forged ahead banging out every definition and trying her hardest to sound out and read every word. At the end she was quite exasperated and turned to me and sighed, "Jen, you're so lucky that homework gets easier as you get older because you can read all the long words."

I just looked at her and laughed and turned back to studying neuroendocrinology. Hey, at least I can say it.

This is when correcting her would be the RIGHT thing to do

2006-03-13T13:43:00.000-05:00

So this is how it went down-

Lesbian: Are you going to be around on Saturday, I was thinking about taking an hour-long run

Me: Umm, I don't know (ie: yes, but I don't want to waste my time at work)

Tori: [chiming in] Aren't we going on the 5 mile bike ride on Saturday?

L: Yes, and we definitely don't need Jen for that.

M: No thanks, I'm not a big fan of bike riding.

T: How can you not like biking?

M: Well, when I was younger my parents always used to force me and my sister to go on really long boring bike rides. After that, I just didn't like biking anymore (which is a horrifically true story)

T: They forced you?

M: Yes, they used to tie us up and shove us in the trunk of the car and make us go bike riding. Then maybe they would buy me ice cream if I didn't cry too much.

L: Oh really? Wow, that's so interesting. So your parents were active?

M: Um? I guess so, why?

L: I always thought that being active was hereditary. Hum, that's weird that they were active and you aren't.

M: [longest pause ever] Um.mmmm..mmmmm...

L: Did you ever play any sports?

M: I played softball and did volleyball and swimming for a season or two. It's just not my thing.

L: That's just so interesting that being active is not hereditary. And you're not? Right?

So really I can't understand why she would make such a broad, general, insulting conclusion about me TO MY FACE. Someone please get this woman a vagina she can eat.

The greatest injustice

2006-03-09T12:18:00.000-05:00

In response to last night's Project Runway finale I have this to say:

CHLOE??? are you kidding me? AND she had the ugly, lanky model. Her designs looked straight from old, cheesy, soap operas and they were made with material that looks like it could hang from a window.

I'm not pleased. I thought Santino's collection was the best one out there, even if I didn't like his work in the past.

Stupid Nina, Michael Kors, and Debra Messing!

How disappointing.

When a pact is broken

2006-03-09T11:30:00.000-05:00

This semester I'm taking a junior writing class, one of the required core classes for psychology. Basically we just write papers about meaningless cognitive psychology crap and our teacher plays mind games with us. I'm pretty sure that most of you are familiar with the concept of peer review. If, by chance you've missed the memo, peer review or editing is when you get in small groups and edit other peoples papers. Yeah, it's a good time.

Today was not like any other day I've experienced in my entire history of peer editing. Today a pact was broken and it's going to be something that takes me many hours and dollars in therapy to get over.

There is this, how shall I put it correctly, Man-Student in my particular section of junior writing. He can only be described as having some type of slow personality mental disorder in combination with a fatal dose of monotonality (yes, I believe I just made that word up). When the teacher asks a simple question, like "How do you site this source?" the Man-Student will proceed to give you so much detail as actually counting out how many spaces between each word and how many spaces the second line should be indented, and so on. He'll tell you what letters need to be capitalized and turn what should be a simple answer into the longest, most drawn-out explanation in the history of citations. In short, it's bad to have to listen to it. And he does it for everything. Sadly, it's not unlikely that the class will secretly snicker as the Man-Student tries to sound intelligent to his younger counterparts.

Now, I feel bad for the Man-Student as much as the next guy because he obviously has issues. This is all fine and dandy as long as there's a good distance of space between us, you know, an appropriate distance that is allowed by the restraining order I filed against him because I'm scared for my life.

Anyway, back to peer editing. Normally when this time comes around we students like to stick to groups that we've previously been in; it's just sort of an unwritten rule. The last peer review group I had was with three other cool people. In our group we made a pact: it will always be the same people. Really simple, not hard to understand or anything. Everyone agreed. And today, let me just say it was different.

One of the guys that was in the original group deserted the 3 of us. Left us high and dry. Left us to suffer. And so, you guessed it, we got stuck with Man-Student who somehow found a way to sneak into our tightly pressed-together desks and join our group. You're thinking "Who cares?" or "So what?" right? Well, no! It was a big deal. This guys paper was nothing of what it should have been; it was practically twice the length of the requirement and really had nothing to do with cognitive psychology and when it was finished being read left me seriously saying "What?" out loud.

All the things you think would be impossible to be included in a paper about cognitive psychology Man-Student somehow found a way to include. Like what? Like Adam and Eve, like going in-depth talking about some painting. The assignment was to explain a phenomenon that occurs in cognitive psychology. Sounds simple, right? It should be simple. But, somehow Man-Student's paper made me even more confused about top-down or bottom-up whateveryoucallit processing than when I started (and I knew nothing about it to start).

What Man-Student couldn't comprehend about PEER EDITING is that in the group, the other people are supposed to comment and show constructive criticism to make the paper better. Yeah, he didn't get that. One of my friends in the group, I'll call him Fred, tried to make a suggestion that maybe this paper was a tad too long and a bit confusing. Man-Student didn't accept that. It was probably the worst demonstration of insecurity I have ever seen. There was an argument; a big one. At one point, everyone in the class had stopped what they were doing to witness this heated debate about whether Man-Student's paper was written in size 10 or 12 font Times New Roman. Knives were whipped out, daggers were thrown. I think Man-Student even killed a kid with a trident.

There are two morals to this story: first, don't mess with man-students. And second, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS respect the pact made in peer editing groups.

Why I love living in Amherst

2006-03-06T12:26:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Scott for taking this photo.

In case you're feeling generous

2006-03-06T12:04:00.000-05:00

If any of you are feeling generous then I would really appreciate you buying me this in size women's large. Thanks, I would really appreciate it and you could become 'famous among dozens' of people by getting a mention on this here website. Hell, maybe I will even do a post about you. Maybe with a picture...

Think about it!

It's so simple

2006-03-06T10:34:00.000-05:00

I am so in love.

I made this and it's awesome and I can't figure out how to use it!

2006-03-03T19:12:00.000-05:00

Prepare Yourself for Friday's Words of Wisdom

2006-03-03T11:16:00.000-05:00

Some may say that I am not a "stellar" student. I admit it, it's no secret. I think it's funny that we've reached a point in my family where no one ever really asks me how school is going or what my GPA was for last semester or what I want to be when I grow up. I think they got tired of hearing mediocre answers and they got tired of being disappointed when I refused to make Dean's List or something crazy like that. But I say, It's. All. Good.

I do admit that there are definitely a ton of other things that I would rather be doing with my time than going to class, say, like sacrificing animals or going to a pet store to play with all the fish (cringe). However, even though I think that coming to college is way overrated, I do my work. I get things done. I wake up at 6:40 every other morning (7:30 on the other days), get ready and drag my sorry ass to campus. I swear I do. And as for my nasty old habit of skipping lots of classes, I'm proud to say I've only skipped 3 so far!

The way I see it is like this: if I got in a horrible situation where I, God forbid, didn't get to see the light of day ever again, would I rather remember my time sitting at the library staring at books, comparing who has the coolest highlighter pens, while being all jacked up on caffeine wishing I was somewhere else? Or, would I rather be out living my life and spending time with people I care about? I choose the latter. Hands down.

You can't tell me that my opinion is wrong, because it's just merely an opinion. And hey, if you're one of those people who lives to study then Good Luck, you should be proud that you have such a "thirst for knowledge" as my dad would say when he described my sister. Don't you ever wonder what else you could be doing? Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating failing out of all your classes to spend time with your boyfriend (been there, done that-- not fun) but don't study your way through college so much that when graduation time comes around you wish you could have a do-over and have more fun. It doesn't work like that.

All I'm saying is that life doesn't involve around a GPA, because after college it's not going to matter; and I'm pretty sure God doesn't weed people out of Heaven based on who has the best grades or who graduated magna cum laude.

By the way, let's all give a wild round of applause to Scott who graduated cum laude. Who needs the "magna" anyway?

Comment Policy

2006-03-02T11:01:00.000-05:00

Since I started this blog in February 2006 I have gotten about 7 comments in total. That's fine with me. I would like more people to comment, but if you have nothing to say then, obviously, don't say anything. But really, I would like to hear what you think or if you have any suggestions.

However, after getting my first negative comment I will introduce you to my comment policy and it goes something like this:

All comments that are mean, rude, or hurtful will be deleted. Comments that are inappropriate will be deleted. Basically, just have consideration. I'm a real person.

Thanks.

Reasons Why I Cannot Wait To Move

2006-03-02T10:36:00.000-05:00

Ever since I was a tiny baby I've moved around. In fact, I don't think I've ever lived in the same place for more than 4 years. In 21 years of life that is a lot of moving, especially considering some people at this school have not even left the good old state of Massachusetts.

Anyway in 3 years at the same school (gasp!) I have lived in 2 dorms and 1 apartment. The dorms were just plain disgusting. I mean the type of disgusting where the Resident Assistants have to post signs on the door of the bathroom that look like this:

Ok, so after those 2 obligatory dorm-living years were over I made the great decision to move to a nearby apartment complex with my wonderful boyfriend. He had already been living in this particular apartment for 2 semesters so it was an easy move; we didn't have to waste time searching for an apartment or anything like that. The only problem we encountered was that it is a 3 bedroom, and only being 2 people, we would need another person or else pay the extra rent, with was out of the question. So, we posted an ad and got 1 response; we got our third person. Yippee. I think we all know how that turned out because I posted about it yesterday.

Next semester Scott and I are getting our very first 2 bedroom apartment. And I'm so excited about it. With all that said, I can't wait to move because:

-If there is a mess it will be our mess.
-When we come in at night we can turn out the lights.
-I think that somehow we will be able to bond even more through cleaning the bathroom and such things.
-I will be living with the most wonderful and handsome man. Ever. Don't think I'm kidding.
-The new place will allow us to flush a toilet while the shower is running without the person in the shower screaming loudly at the top of their lungs. That would be cool.
-Maybe I will unpack all my stuff, instead of having boxes stacked in the closet ready to move at a moment's notice.
-Organization.
-A cute tablecloth and maybe slipcovers for the sofa.
-Our own decorations.
-Maybe it will be cozy and cute, instead of living in something that can only be described as a cardboard house with stark-white walls.
-Dare I say it.... Painted walls??

I'm sure the list will grow and I will keep you updated.

Where's the Line?

2006-03-01T11:42:00.000-05:00

Lately I have gotten to thinking about the phrase "crossing the line." Where do these lines come from and what is the point that they become crossed? Sometimes it's very clear that a line has been crossed, like if your significant other cheats on you or something like that. However, other times that line is very ambiguous. And I'm searching for it, I'm searching very hard.

For instance, my employer is going through a difficult family situation (yes, the Lesbians are getting divorced) and as a result of this I feel as though I'm being used to be at her constant beck and call. It's nearly impossible for me to make a plan for anything at all because she is always changing my schedule; one day it's this and the next day it's that. Now, I mentioned before that I was going to ask for a raise and, needless to say, that never happened. I have major issues with not being paid enough, needing more hours, and getting paid in advance and feeling that I "owe" her days for which I have been paid but did not work due to one of her cancellations. In this situation where is the line? If I say something will she think I'm ungrateful? Is it still a bad time to chat about money and hours while she is dealing with the fact that her wife left her less than a week ago? To me, it's very ambiguous.

Consider a roommate situation:

I woke up to this note on our bulletin board: "You ask me to clean up after myself, and I do, please do the same. Also, please don't drink my soda. I don't eat/drink your stuff. I live here, too. Please respect me."

Does one have the right to speak up about a mess (a mess that happens infrequently, might I add) if they're not the one who cleans the apartment? What about respect? Has a line been crossed that we have been reprimanded for? I understand the Roommate's point of view that no one likes to come home to a mess. But, obviously the mess will get cleaned up today before he even gets home. Scott and I rarely leave a mess around the house. Scott, for lack of a better work, nags on me to put dishes in the dishwasher and clean up around the house. And I like it. I've gotten much better, if I do say so myself. Together we clean the house on the weekends when it's a mess. We vacuum and clean the kitchen and the living room. We clean our rooms and straighten out the kitchen table. I think that once, since August, the Roommate has cleaned. Maybe twice. Constantly we have asked him to not leave dishes out because he's not here much. So if he leave something out it stays there for-ev-er. I really appreciate that he has worked hard to improve and clean up and it is definitely apparent that things aren't as bad in terms of mess. But, in the case of last night, where is the line? Was it crossed by either party? I don't think we crossed the Roomate's line by leaving one mess. Did he cross it?

And so, in these situations, I have to wonder "where is the line?"

In response to the soda, Scott drank it. I don't even like ginger ale. I apologize for it, though. But dude, chill out, we will buy you 2 more cans. Maybe even a case if you're lucky.

Olympic Skating

2006-02-27T13:24:00.000-05:00

This is what I looked like yesterday

2006-02-27T13:23:00.000-05:00

The One with the Spelling Issues

2006-02-24T13:11:00.000-05:00

(Alternate title for this post: "She Looks Like an Elongated Marshmallow")

First of all, I didn't know that you spell marshmallow with an "a". I always thought it was marshmellow. I guess the old saying is true, you really do learn something every day. Thanks, Spell Check. And, of course, Praise Jesus!

Now, let me preface this entry by saying I am not a fan of reality television (you should have just seen how many times it took for me to spell television correctly); I blame my sister for my new addiction to the show. So, when I say that there is no better reality television show than Project Runway (on bravo) that is saying a LOT.

What makes this show great is how honest everyone is. I love how Santino will say that he "doesn't know any women who know the name 'Michael Kors'"and how he is sure than "Banana Republic is so much more popular than Michael Kors." All of this to his face. L-o-v-e it. And Tim Gunn will tell you straight up if your design is a piece of shit or not. Oh yeah, and he criticizes the models. Sweet! My favorite Tim Gunn quote is "she looks like an elongated marshmallow" talking about a model who fucked up on the runway. Now that's quality television.

I can't wait for fashion week to see who wins. You can bet that on those two finale nights Scott and I will glue our fannies to the couch, with movie theater popcorn and oreos in hand, to find out who wins.

On the other hand, I would like to express my extreme dislike for this site. Rachael, if you're reading (I originally wrote 'if you're watching') I think you're great. Keep up the 30 minute meals and maybe someday I will try one of them.

Help Wanted

2006-02-23T12:02:00.000-05:00

It's driving me crazy that I can't figure out how to re-do the masthead. I don't want it to be blue, I want it to be cute and my own. But, alas, I don't have photoshop and I lack certain html skills.

I know, I know, why have a blog if you can't design it? I agree!

So, if any of you 5 readers out there knows how I could design a better masthead (I already have ideas, obviously) then please let me know before I start developing a weird disorder in which I start to stutter and twitch and drink all the time and smoke enough pot that I have no brain cells left... All because you withheld precious knowledge from me.

Any help is much appreciated, thank you!

Munchies

2006-02-22T12:24:00.000-05:00

If You Are My Employer...

2006-02-20T09:32:00.000-05:00

Please do not leave me a voicemail at approximately 9:30 at night sounding quite distressed--much like someone is holding a gun to your head. And please do not tell me that, while I was supposed to work tomorrow [today] that it is "definitely not going to happen" and you wish to talk to me in person since things are "not going well" over there. Please don't proceed to tell me how important it is that you fill me in on all the important things that are happening because I will need this knowledge in "dealing with the kiddies." And when I try to call you back, please answer.

And please reimburse me for my [lack of] sleep last night.

Without a doubt the most Beautiful Man I have ever seen

2006-02-19T21:36:00.000-05:00

From PostSecret

2006-02-19T19:16:00.000-05:00

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Sunday, February 19, 2006 5:26 PM

My mother used to write me small notes too. She would place the notes in my lunchbox every day when I was in elementary school.

When no one would sit next to me at lunch and I had no friends at all, I would read her notes and feel loved. Some days it was the only thing that made me smile. Today I told her how much her small gesture meant to me.

Thank you for reminding me what a wonderful person my mother is.
---------------------------

Poop

2006-02-19T19:11:00.000-05:00

after leaving his mom and her friend after lunch and shopping:

"dude walk faster i have to go to the bathroom"

"i know, i really have to poop"

"i've had to go since we were at the restaurant but i didnt want to go since there were only 3 stalls and your mom was in there"

"and you fart when you poop"

"yeah, and all the sound effects"

This is my Sister. Isn't she Pretty?

2006-02-17T18:53:00.000-05:00

Footsies

2006-02-16T18:20:00.000-05:00

Speech, Interrupted

2006-02-16T17:22:00.000-05:00

On Monday I am going to do something I never have before: I am going to ask my boss for a raise. While I am somewhat of a virgin asking someone to "Please, nice lesbian, pay me more money so I don't end up working as an exotic dancer" I'm not really that nervous. I deserve $5 more an hour since I have accommodated their every want/need in the entire 6 months I have been working for them. And nowadays I think that $10 an hour for 2 kids is nothing. I hope that I never have to experience this feeling of "college days broke" when sometimes I have less than $100 in my bank account. And this is without excessive spending. I know-- or rather I hope-- that later on times are going to get easier so until that happens I am just going to keep on keeping on and do my best. And that is enough for me.

I once told my dad I got a job at Hooters. He laughed and said "Nice". At least I always have a backup.

A Festival for the Rest of Us

2006-02-14T20:04:00.000-05:00

I have never believed in soul mates. However, two people can fit together and 'work' as a couple more than other people. It is my belief that two people need to work very hard to make a relationship work. Give and take, that's just how it goes. Compromise. Understanding. Love. And friendship, most importantly. Luckily I have found all that in one person and my life could not be more complete. As much as I would love to gush and brag about how fabulous he is, that is not the point of this post.

Now, I know that most people (like myself) think that this day is a Hallmark holiday, which it very well may be. However, I think that maybe the Hallmark people got something right. Aside from wanting to make money on card, chocolate, and teddy bear sales, the idea of taking time to show the people you love how much you love them is a good one.

If you love someone, one day is simply not enough to show them that. Show them every day. To me, it's always the little things rather than the big things that mean the most; little things that happen day-to-day. Opening doors, carrying the grocery bags, cleaning up, making dinner, etc. Those are the things that are important.

Now, I'm not looking to preach, just take the opportunity to think about someone other than yourself during the day to show people how much you mean to them. Not just a lover, but members of your family and friends, or anyone who means anything to you for that matter. Tell your parents how much you appreciate them; tell your sister how much you value her friendship; your friends how awesome they are.

And so here it is, my 'thank you' to all of you on this day of love. Thank you for always being there for me and for your constant and unconditional love. And putting up with more than your share of sass. I love you all.

So Much Love

2006-02-12T18:44:00.000-05:00

True Life: Confessions

2006-02-12T08:44:00.000-05:00

I am addicted to Wheaties. (Yes, I am very regular thankyouverymuch). I have overcome previous addictions to Kix and Special K. I am waiting for my 90 day chips, people.

I thoroughly enjoy songs by the Spice Girls (Wannabe, c'mon you know you love it too), Ace of Base (so classic), and Easy E (I know all the words to Gimme that Nut).

I fully believe that I could survive being a rapper in Compton.

No, I'm not ghetto. I'm probably the biggest white girl. Ever.

I don't drink very often, which is surprising given my college of choice. This is because of hypothetical 'holy hangover' incidents that get me in trouble on Christmas Eve/Day.

The saying that a woman never forgets? Completely true.

I'm pretty much living on cereal. And gummy bears.

Looking at the mess that is my living room (ie: 2 10lb weights, a bag of pistachios, Family Guy DVDs, Band of Brothers, a Brita water container, an old Gatorade powder container that's missing it's lid, candles, massage oil, Therabands, and a 4 lb tub of gummy bears) I am seriously wondering what went on here after I passed out at 10.

I love reading blogs. You should too. Especially this one.

I have anxiety attacks every time I get close to a pet store. No joke. You should see me if someone has the rare chance of dragging me into one. I have been told by my sister that I get quite embarrassing.

I truly believe that a person can spend 4 years at college, earn an undergraduate degree, and walk away no smarter than before.

When it comes to jobs: How are you supposed to get experience if no one will give it to you? Seriously, people!

I HATE listening to my roommate press the snooze button on his alarm 10 times each morning starting at 7:50 and then proceed to piss with the bathroom door open. And leave the seat up. And it's still going off.

I am a bad babysitter. I have been known to sit kids in front of the TV while I do my homework. Educational TV, however, so it can't be that bad.

I can't sing worth a damn but I like to think I can. I have been known to do karaoke for the better part of 3 hours. Alone.

I feel sorry for people who have only traveled as far as Texas. Or California. Get out and see the world, people. There is so much to learn.

I can't stand posers. Be leaders not followers! But, in the case of my fabulous roommate Scotticus, it's understandable to see how guys would want to copy his every move.

I am terrified of lingerie. Sorry, Scott.

I'm too lazy to take down the Christmas decorations.

Despite all my bitching about how much I despise V-Day and how I will never celebrate it, I am a teeny bit disappointed that I am hardly going to see my boyfriend on that day.

I am very poor.

Daisy Does America, Da Ali G show, and CSI are the best shows on TV.

I LOVE comments so leave one and I'll talk to ya later, gators.

How To Make Me Smile

2006-02-10T12:03:00.000-05:00

Buy me a 4 lb. tub of gummy bears. The Target kind of course. Those damn little things are addicting!

Things That Go Through My Head While Sitting In Behavioral Endocrinology

2006-02-09T11:36:00.000-05:00

(chronicled this morning)

Ok, it's 8:05 why aren't we starting yet? But on the other hand, take as looooooong as you'd like.

How does that girl in front of me get her hair that layer-ey? I should take a picture of it. Stealthily of course.

Kind sir, will you please speak ENGLISH?!

What?

Huh?!

The prerequisite for this class should be Behavioral Rocketscience.

Haha, she just spilled her coffee.

Ok, where does ephinepherine fit in to all of this?

This hot chocolate is good. 2 packets is definitely how it's going to be made from now on.

Are you sure this is common knowledge?

"This should all be very simple and straightforward" oh go fuck yourself. In the nicest way possible, of course.

I really like this professor, I wish he taught something interesting.

...Still holding out to eat those gummy bears in my bag...

If I don't look at it that huge picture of a goiter will dissapear from the screen. Ok GO.

I hear that there is a library at this place. I hear they have tutors.

Oh, bother.

Good times. Definitely.

Meet Scotticus

2006-02-07T22:20:00.000-05:00

The Best Birth Control

2006-02-06T20:10:00.000-05:00

I have worked with kids for eight years. Close to seven of those years have been good. For the past six months I have been working as an au pair for 2 families, each with 2 kids. Both sets of kids are between the ages of 6 and 10. This means that for 12 hours each week I deal with whining, helping with homework, giving stair time-outs when they won't stop throwing balls at each other, asking them 5 times what they want for dinner, cleaning up their shit, and trying to get them to listen to me. Meanwhile I do my best to keep my shit together and not tell them to "shut the fuck up." So far, I have been quite successful.

All the health classes teach abstinence as the best birth control. And before working with these children it was my belief that somewhere between abstinence, condoms, and Ortho TriCyclen that the young people of today would be able to keep themselves out of 'trouble.' However, it is my new-found belief that you should stick all middle and high schoolers with four 6-10 year olds for a couple of hours and there would be a lot less teenage pregnancy.

Sorry Ortho.

Memories

2006-02-05T21:02:00.000-05:00

You always gave us candy in secret, especially when we weren't supposed to have it. Some nights you sat on the edge of my bed, rubbing my back to put me to sleep. You always waited until I was asleep, you never left. You rode along with us on Space Mountain even though you didn't want to; you just did it to make us happy. You moved in with us and changed our lives. When I went to visit you you always asked if I needed money; if I did, you offered it. You made the best spaghetti sauce. You loved black raspberry- ice cream, especially. Your slippers had holes in them. You slept in your recliner chair. You organized New Years Eve dinners for your friends and we cooked and ate together. You met all of the boyfriends I have had and only approved of one. You came skiing with us every year. But you didn't ski and sat in the lodge for hours. But you didn't care because you liked watching us. Every summer we went to Nantucket. Most times we played rummy 500 on the ferry. You loved to beat Dad. We always watched Food Network together. You loved to watch Emeril and golf. Sometimes you watched old Western movies. You took me to dance and stayed the whole time. If you were going to pick us up from school you were never late. In fact, you were always at least an hour early for everything. I am sure that's where I get it from. Once you bought us Bacardi Breezers, after much coaching to get you to understand what they were. You drove a green jeep also known as the Nantucket Mobile. You once drove 2 hours one-way to pick me up from a friend's when I had a bad experience with a boy. On that drive we both smoked a cigarette. You said, "Ok, but don't tell your mother." It was my first and last. You hated being sick. You gave me your most special earrings. You always cried when we left and watched and waved as we drove away.

And when I watched you drive away that final time I cried and I waved and thought of all our memories. I love you and I miss you. Thanks for the candy.

Skinny Bitch

2006-02-02T11:58:00.000-05:00

"Look at this book! It's too funny"

"This is the reason why Bob* won't be with Jane*"

Sometimes I feel bad for guys.

(*) names have been changed

About This Site

2006-02-01T21:17:00.000-05:00

Hello.

I'm Jennifer Arnold. Some people call me Sassy.

I've grown up going to international schools in Saudi Arabia and England. My far the most interesting times of my life. My parents moved my family around a lot while I was growing up, and for the most part it was an excellent experience. And now, I find myself in Amherst and I'm enjoying it a great deal.

I'm a third year student at the University of Massachusetts. It's quite an interesting place, Amherst. You might have heard about UMass in regards to the Red Sox riots and SWAT teams. And tear gas. And taser guns. Good times.

I'm studying psychology and would maybe like to persue teaching. But I should probably take some education classes. So we'll see. Recently, I've discovered my fascination with the internet, websites, and web design. I would like to find a way to combine psychology and web design. Calling all whackos.

Currently, I'm living with my charming boyfriend, Scott. In short, he is rad. And by "currently" I don't mean that I don't intend on living with him in the future. I fully intend to.

I started this blog as a way to chronicle these times in my life that I probably won't remember later on. Which in no way has anything to do with drug use. I just have a bad memory.

I'm fascinated with learning new things about how I can improve this site or make it look cooler. So, if you have any advice or any idea how to make the "simplysassy" banner have a different background let me know. Also, if you like what you read, tell your friends about it. And feel free to contact me.

All electronic [fan] mail can be sent to jensarnold@hotmail.com.

Welcome to simplysassy.

2006-01-31T21:32:00.000-05:00

Well, here it is, my first post. I know all of you nonexistant readers will appreciate the fact that you can now read whatever I have to say whenever you want. You can even read in your pajamas. Or naked. However you prefer.

Simplysassy is a equal opportunity blog.